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Did a bit of walking in the May Day sunshine yesterday. Nearly all the trees have their leaves now, but there's still plenty of blossom about. We're on the cusp of summer. I love it.

You can't see them in this photo, but there were loads of little ducklings playing about in the currents of this stream. It was the cutest thing.

The woods were carpeted in bluebells :D

And also

Have a watch of Adam Buxton reading out some YouTube comments. It sounds simple, but it's very very funny.

Speaking of funny, it looks like there are going to be some jolly good comedy shows starting up on TV this week. I can't wait!

As promised, here are my new sandals:

They are surprisingly comfortable! I'M GOING TO WEAR THEM ALL SUMMER.

In other news, two things happened to me yesterday:
1. I watched the second episode of The Walking Dead.
2. I had a nightmare about evil mummies coming back to life.

I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT 1. AND 2. MAY BE RELATED.

Hmm. I shall have to watch this so I can be prepared.

I've always thought it would be awesome to be a zombie extra in a film. Trying to walk like a zombie is so much fun! (I can't be the only person who tries this at home. Can I?)

Here's the thing. As I go about my daily business, I (without meaning to) mentally compile lists of things that I should blog about. And I don't blog about it right away because I always seem to be busy on that particular day, but I tell myself that I will get to it soon. But then the list of things that I have to blog about ends up growing so large that I would never have the time to write a blog post about it all anyway and, of course...

This means that I don't post for weeks on end.

I AM SORRY GUYS. I need to learn to start posting short snippets. It'll be easier that way. (I have been telling myself this for about 7 years now. It's not worked yet. BUT IT WILL WORK THIS TIME. OPTIMISM.)

Here, look at all these things I'm going to be telling you about today.

CONTENTS
1. tl;dr My mental health
2. And all the rest of it

***

tl;dr My mental health

I have been meaning to write about this for ages. I don't bring it up much, because I don't like to be too serious on the internets. (Actually, I don't like to be serious when I'm not on the internets for that matter.) BUT LET'S TRY THIS SERIOUS LARK FOR ONCE, SHALL WE.

You may have heard me mention, briefly, over the past couple of years, that I have been suffering from a bit of a mental health problem. It's not serious serious, but it's not very pleasant either.

In its bare bones, here's what I what I was dealing with:
1. Fear of panic attacks
2. Anxiety
3. OCD

Look at that last one! OCD! It was a late developer, that one; I only really generated it in the autumn last year. Didn't realise it was OCD at the time though. Who knew?

Anyway, I'm telling you all this because I have good news to report! It turns out that the OCD was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back. When I realised that I was unable to really do anything without being terrified all the ruddy time, I decided to go to the doctor.

Now, some people had told me to go to the doctor about this before (thanks, Nick!) but it's one of these things that you really have to work yourself up towards. For ages, I was in the mindset of a lot of people. I'd say: I'm going to the doctor about this. And they'd say: Oh, you don't have to do that, surely? As if somehow going to the doctor means it's suddenly serious. As if this is still the 1800s and mental health treatments are all straight-jackets and padded cells and all the mad criminals in Batman.

Luckily, this is the 21st century, and it's not Batman either. Phew.

The way I see it is like this:
If you had a rash, you would go to the doctor to get some cream for it. It's not serious, but it is itchy all the same. And while, if you don't go to the doctor, your limbs are not going to fall off, the rash might spread and get itchier, and who wants to put up with all that when you can easily go to the doctor and just get some cream for it already?

So, I finally decided to go to my doctor to get some (metaphorical) cream for my (metaphorical) rash.

My doctor was really nice about it. He let me explain the symptoms, and then, instead of pressuring me into anything, he sat back and said: So, what do you want?

And I said: I don't want drugs, but I do want to talk to someone. So he referred me onto a local mental health team.

MY TREATMENT HAD BEGUN :D

So, what happened from there, was that I got some treatment in the form of a lovely lady called Alison who phoned me every week. I told her my story in the initial call, and then she sent me some self-help books based on CBT that were specific to my problems.

These books are wonderful. They set down everything in clear terms, took all my fears and explained them away, one by one. Having something authoritatively spelt out on the page was so reassuring to me.

Of course, while the theory may make perfect sense, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can take it to heart. But the good thing about CBT is that it's built around exercises that you can do to re-train your brain to stop thinking in the same way.

And this is where the phone calls with Alison came in. She'd point out which exercises it would be best for me to try, and then set me tasks so I'd have to do them and report back to her the next week.

The exercises I had to do were all based around exposing myself to the stuff that was scaring me, and while that's hard at first, it gets so much easier as you keep going.

I had my final phonecall with Alison a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER THAN I DID JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO.

MILES BETTER.

MILES AND MILES :D

I'm not 100% yet, but now I have the tools to help me, so I know that if I keep working at it, it'll only be a matter of time before I'm back to my old carefree self.

Words cannot express how wonderful this is. (Rashes are annoying, you know. Even metaphorical ones.)

Wow, that really was tl;dr. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

Here, let me lump the rest of my news together in one category.

***

And all the rest of it

1. I bought some lovely new sandals a week or so ago. I WILL TAKE A PICTURE OF THEM WHEN I AM WEARING THEM SOMETIME I PROMISE.

2. I have a book token that I need to spend. But what to buy? If you have any suggestions, please feel free to fling them in my direction!

3. I did some volunteering at my old work-place last week. It was great to be able to see everyone again.

4. Why am I eagerly watching the new series of Dr Who? I never used to be a Dr Who fan. Isn't it a bit silly? WHERE DID I GO WRONG. If only it would stop making me laugh. I'm a sucker for anything that makes me laugh.

5. Speaking of which, Twenty Twelve finished and it was very very funny. I'm watching Campus right now, which is pretty funny and wonderfully surreal, and we won't even mention where it's set :D

"But, whatever could it be?" you ask.

"Well," I say. "Have you heard of caramelldansen? Have you heard of Sherlock? Have you ever considered putting the two together?"

"Golly gosh!" you say. "But that would be... would be..."

"Exactly," I say. "Exactly."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjDKFNgQ6-Q

Oh God. You know when something seems like a fun idea at first, but then it takes forever and a day to complete? Animation is harrrrd, man.

Also, that music is stuck in my head permanently now D:

It was my last day at work on Thursday. I found it a bit sad because I really enjoyed working with everyone a lot; we always seemed to have the best conversations :D Still, I might go back as a volunteer, so I may get to work with them again!

It was Simon's last day on Wednesday, and we clubbed together to buy a tonne of cakes and pastries. NOMNOMNOM. I also bought some glowsticks, for that extra rave-y atmoshpere! TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO.

I got some nice gift vouchers as a leaving present, which I am going to spend like a beast, and I also got a very pretty bouquet of flowers.

Such a gorgeous colour! Very spring-like.

Now, let me tell you, my new found free time is wonderful. First thing I did was to finally tidy my flat post-leak. Everything is now back in my wardrobe, and I'm shocked to find that I have so much free space!

Then I cooked mother's day fajitas for my parents and forced them to watch the first two episodes of Twenty Twelve :D

Other tasks for this week include:
- sending off some job applications
- attempting to get as much money out of the government as I can
- going for lunch with my grandparents
- finishing my SUPER SECRET PROJECT :D (hopefully more details on that later)

Let's see, what have I got here?

1. Twenty Twelve
I've been languishing in a comedy void for the past few months. For some reason, there appeared to be no good comedy on the TV. Luckily, I just watched the new show Twenty Twelve, and it's funny!

It's very similar to People Like Us, which I adored, so I'm expecting good things from the upcoming episodes :D

2. I flipping love the universe
Yes, that's right. It's Professor Brian Cox time again! This time he's attempting to teach the UK about the whole universe. Fascinating stuff. Give me answers Brian! I want answers!

Videos!
Here's the Prof playing with some Sodium
And here he is taking some drugs

3. Sherlock - the pilot
So, I finally watched the pilot episode yesterday. It was ok, and it was fun to watch Sherlock prance around in a pair of skinny jeans for an hour, but it wasn't quite as good as the actual show.

The actual show had more money thrown at it, and it shows. Not only is the actual show full of more plot and more characterisation, it is also very pretty to watch and wonderfully funny. The pilot just didn't match up.

It wasn't all doom and gloom though. The pilot had some nice parts, like Sherlock pretending to be drunk (lots of fun), and Sherlock attempting to tidy the flat by picking up a stack of papers from one chair and dumping them straight down on another (THAT'S NOT HOW TIDYING WORKS). Also, THE COAT was still present, which is never a bad thing :D

4. Water water everywhere
Leak update! You will be glad to hear that my flat is now mostly dry and rid of the damp smell. Thank god for that.

Let me tell you, dehumidifiers are the best invention ever. EVER ♥♥♥

1. Apollo Justice
2. Soem photos of March
3. CUMBERBATCHED

1. Apollo Justice
So! I just finished Apollo Justice. Man, I'm getting through these games fast. This instalment was fun, as always, but I missed some of the characters from the Phoenix Wright-centric games. Still, can't go wrong with air guitar in court; it's a vital part of the judicial system!

Here, as always, have a handy YouTube summary of the game.

While we're on it. Does anyone else think that Wesley Stickler looks like Sherlock? It dawned on me almost as soon as he turned up, and I spent the rest of game going, 'CAN'T UNSEEEEE'.

2. Soem photos of March
I just came back from a nice walk in the country to go see the ruins of an old church and an abandoned village. The wind was cold, but the sun was bright and warm, and it almost feels like spring is on the way :D

I was also able to give my camera a nice outing too.

3. CUMBERBATCHED
Now, I normally like to sound like a very serious person on this blog >:E But I'm going to have to take a little detour from that for a moment because Jesus Christ I need to link you all to this audio recording of Benedict Cumberbatch reading Keats' Ode to a Nightingale.

Oh my God. I think there might be words in there somewhere? I don't know, because when I turn it on and put it through my sub-woofer (not a euphemism) all I hear is this purring mellifluous treacle. Oh man.

Hey, guess what? I got a new camera! It wasn't very expensive, but I'm still feeling pretty poor now I've bought it (damn you water bill, for turning up the week afterwards!)

I haven't actually been anywhere exciting yet to give the camera a run, but I have been playing around with it at my parents house.

Not the best photos in the world, but I'm learning. I kind of always hate to use the flash, so I'm really happy that this camera can do a bit more correction for my shaky hands. Also, it is so wonderful to have a battery that lasts! I've turned the camera on and off about a million times and the battery indicator is still on full. My old camera refused to take more than one photo before saying "Battery depleted". New camera, I love you.

I want to show my love by buying a new camera case (the one I ordered off Amazon came up accidentally huge) but all the cases in the shops are really kinda dull. I was thinking of maybe browsing etsy for something cute. What do you think? Have any of you used etsy before? And is it any good?

In much worser news, I returned home from my parents house on Sunday, only to find that the carpet went "squelch squelch squelch" when I walked on it.

"Squelch squelch squelch?"

And then I switched on the light and realised that half my flat was completely sodden D:
Turns out that the flat above mine had had a leaking toilet (leaking clean water, not piss, guys) which was directly above my built-in wardrobe D: D: D:

So, after cleaning and tumble-drying my clothes, and running a dehumidifier for a couple of days, the place is slowly drying out. Oh God, but the smell is so bad! All kind of fusty and musty and manky. Eugh.

Still, could have been worse. All my electricals are ok, and everything will right itself pretty well once its dry. I could just do without the stress, really.

Hi!

Yesterday, my Mum and I went to save the economy. That's right, we went shopping. Now, I'm no economist, but I think our efforts helped a lot. After all, there were two of us. And my Mum even bought socks!

To show you what I bought, I decided to give my camera and outing. Unfortunately, apparently I had sub-consciously decided to pull stupid faces while doing so \o/

Clockwise from top left:
1. Jumper - Jane Norman
2. Top - Topshop, Trousers - Miss Selfridge
3. Cardigan - New Look, Skirt - Topshop
4. Dress - ok, so I didn't buy this one yesterday. This is the dress that I got for £3 (£3! £3!) from Petticoat Lane market back in November. I said I'd take a photo of it for you, so here you go :D

Also, my camera is on its last legs. It doesn't like batteries anymore. It's all like, "What is this shit? What are you feeding me? I'm dying here! Get me the hard stuff, man! The hard stufffff!!!!!'
I was going to wait until I had more money before I bought a new camera, but I'm not sure I can take it any more. Can any of you guys recommend a camera that's good but not too expensive?

In other news
I borrowed Gogol Bordello's Super Taranta! from my parents. I love Gogol Bordello. They're so energetic! I would liken their music to a tornado; it's fast and furious and makes you fly around like a lunatic.

This song is one of my favourites on the album.

I met up with Helen, Susan and Emma this weekend, and we had a look round Sir John Soane's Museum. And I have to say, as a museum, the place is utterly mad. John Soane was an architect and a collector, and he basically built his house as a showcase for his collections. There are so many nooks and crannies and busts and sculptures and paintings and things and things and things. It's like walking into a claustrophobic labyrinth full of classical history. Mad and amazing all in one :D

Here, have a list of some things that I have been consuming recently:

We Are History
This is a comedy show that was on tv about 10 years ago now. It's a series of mock history documentaries hosted by Marcus Brigstocke in the guise of rubbish historian, David Oxley. And it is very funny. Very very funny.

Gundam 00: Awakening of the Trailblazer
Spoiler-free reaction! I'd been waiting to see this film for a year and a half, and it was really nice to dip back into the Gundam 00 universe again. The movie itself had some good points but was a little disappointing plot-wise. Oh well, it was nice to see my favourite characters getting some movie screentime anyway.

Doctor Who
My parents have last year's series recorded, and we've slowly been going through it. I've not really watched any of the recent Doctor Who series because, well, I've always found it a bit silly. The Matt Smith episodes are still silly (very silly in some cases) but I've come to see it as harmless escapist fun, and as far as that goes, I'm quite enjoying it.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
I just finished this one. These games are so much fun :D
Here, have some youtube-based fun:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foeiP9YCayI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UD00kYcmQ8

THE SKY
My astronomy kick has still been going strong :D Sadly, it's been cloudy most nights, so I can't see anything, but when the sky is clear, I try to have a look. Thanks to this handy guide, I can now spot Orion, the Plough, Gemini and the North Star. Pretty cool! I might get up early tomorrow and see if I can spot Saturn too.

Twelfth Night has come and gone, which means, apparently, that you have to STOP celebrating Christmas. That's it. It's OVER. From now on we just have the hard slog of winter to go. So don't go having any more FUN, you understand? It's not seasonal.

But, back when I was still celebrating, I did some things that went a bit like this:

NYE
I went to Steve's in Bristol for New Year's Eve. We were trying to recreate the fun of our student days by cooking ourselves a massive meal. Firstly, we had a food conference to work out what was going down, then we had a trip to buy ingredients, and finally, we had a 10 and a half hour, 11 course, cook-off show-down!

It was lots of fun. The 11 courses were as follows:

1. Crudités and houmous (with some egg bites to get us going) - lovingly chopped by me
2. French onion soup - made by Heather
3. Chilli onions on goat's cheese - made by Nick
4. Parma ham with melon - made by James
5. Sushi - made by me
6. Cheesy pasta - made by Eppa
7. Sweetcorn, bacon and mayo salad - made by Heather
8. Stuffed peppers - made by Steve
9. Homemade burgers with avocado salad - made by Steve and Heather
10. Mini banoffee pies - made by Nick
11. Coffee and mints - the coffee ground by Eppa's thighs

There was going to be a cheese and biscuits course before the coffee, but it was 2am by that point, and I don't think any of us could stomach any more food. Especially not huge hunks of cheese!

All the courses were really tasty, but I think one of my favourites were the banoffee pies, because I was dying for something sweet after all those savoury courses (in fact, I found it hard to eat anything savoury for the next two days).

Here's a picture of the banoffee pies in all their glory, as modelled by Steve:

And, because Steve lives on a massive hill, we were able to walk to the end of his garden at midnight and watch the fireworks spread out over the whole of the city. Nice.

More Christmas presents???
A package from Mariya arrived the other day! There were lots of cute presents inside, but one of the cutest was this:

It's a teeny tiny bento box! (The photo is larger than life-size.) It's absolutely adorable.

Mariya also got me the first volume of Black Butler. I've heard of the series before, but I've not seen or read any of it, so it will be interesting to see what it's like.

So far, it seems like the butler, called Sebastian, swans around being a badass mofo, while his master, who's a twelve-year old boy, sits around looking unimpressed.

I shall have to wait and see how it progresses, but I already have a strange urge to draw Sebastian in breeches. That must be a good sign, right?

STARS
This week, the women people of Britain have taken a sudden and intense interest in astronomy, thanks to Professor Brian Cox Live Stargazing Live!

I have to admit, I was expecting it to be a bit boring (oh look, there's the Plough. Big whoop.) But actually (as happened with The Wonders of the Solar System) it was really interesting! Now I have a sudden urge to look up at the stars, whenever the weather decides to stop being cloudy, and see galaxies and all sorts of amazing stuff.

It also helps that co-presenter Dara O'Briain is a very funny man, and Professor Brian Cox is, well... (oh yeah, talk science to me, baby).

Musics
Songs of the moment include:

Yolanda Be Cool vs DCUP - We No Speak Americano - Very pop-y and dance-y, but I love it anyway. It's been out for ages, but I only just learnt its name.
Donna Summer - I Feel Love - Disco fun! I was listening to this mere moments ago, and annoying my neighbours by singing along at the top of my voice.
Lemon Jelly - Space Walk - In honour of SPACE! It's impossible to feel unhappy when listening to this song.

Right, that's it
Time to stop having fun now. Off with you, there's 2011 to be getting on with.

I hope you all had a nice Christmas!

I had a jolly nice time myself. There was eating (of course) and watching Christmas TV (with varying levels of interest), plus presents and visiting relatives :D We played Trivial pursuit at my grandparent's house, and there was just the right amount of people (and just the right amount of not taking it too seriously) to make it fun. I haven't seen either of my grandparents that happy since my granddad had to move into a home, so it was really nice.

We also watched two films that I enjoyed immensely. One was Inception and the other was Moon. Both films are ones that make you think hard. Blink and you'll miss an important plot point D:

In my opinion, Inception lives up to the hype that's around. It's a movie about dreams and sharing dreams (no wonder that I like it), and all the fun that that entails. It has a very retro 50s/60s feel to it too, with tailored clothing and slicked-back hair, which I found rather charming.

Moon is a sci-fi that, on the surface of it, has a lot in common with 2001: A Space Odyssey. It differs in some key respects though, which I won't go into, otherwise I'd be telling you the whole plot.

Present-wise, I got a lot of things that I really wanted, but had neglected to tell anyone about, so I think I was very lucky there. This includes, a laundry bag, new pyjamas, and a handbag:

(That's my 'Argh! The timer's going! Get into position!' face.) I've wanted a handbag like this for ages ♥

Oh, and the laundry bag came with an apron!

Look how much I love dusting!

In other present news, I got a boxset of The Thick of It :D I've already watched the first series in the past few days, and now I'm going to try to marathon the rest of it if I can. (Apologies in advance if I suddenly get more sweary.)

Hi guys,

Guess what? The snow is back! And it doesn't look set on going any time soon. But, as annoying as the ice and slush is, it's still kinda fun :D

On Sunday, I was walking down my road at 9pm. The snow had only fallen a day before, so it was still pristine and white. It turns out that no-one goes out on a Sunday evening, especially not when there are a good few inches of snow on the ground. The place was absolutely silent! Still and white and eerie. Nothing but the slow crunch crunch crunch of my boots on the fresh snow. And then, when I got to the end of the road, I could hear the clock in the church tower tolling the hour. The church is a good 15 minutes walk away, but the town was so silent that I could hear it easily.

It was really spooky!

There was a lady at the end of the road who was dressed up in a white coat and white trousers. She must have been waiting for a lift, because she was just waiting there. And because the whole place was spooky and because she was standing so still, for a moment, my imagination almost got the better of me.

No wonder they tell ghost stories at this time of year!

Speaking of which, I hope you all have a nice Christmas! I'm getting all excited about it myself. Christmas is great. I'm not religious in the slightest, but when it's so dark and cold outside, there's nothing better than a great big knees-up with presents and company and good tv and (according to all the supermarkets) a shitload of pâté.

I'm not sure about the pâté myself (I mean, I like a bit, but not that much), but I'll go in for the rest thank you.

It's been entirely too long since I last posted. Here, have a list of contents:

1. Deborah's Birthday
2. Snow!
3. Things I've been enjoying recently

***

1. Deborah's Birthday

So, I toddled down to London to go see Deborah for her birthday. It was lots of fun in a very London sort of a way. Deborah's flat is in a building that used to be offices and it's huge. The ceilings are tall and it's split level and Deborah has an en-suite and a magical mystery cupboard in the back of her wardrobe!

We went out dancing for the evening, which was fun, and then, because we were in the vicinity, we went for 2am noodles in Chinatown afterwards. God, it's times like this that make me miss living in London; it's so exciting!

The next day, I had a little look around Petticoat Lane market and managed to get myself a dress for £3. That's right. £3! It's a nice dress too! I was going to show you a picture, but I forgot to take one when I was wearing it and now it's too cold to change into it just for a photo. Which brings us nicely onto topic #2.

***

2. Snow!

It's November. It's England. And yet there is snow on the ground. What is going on? It's never normally this cold at this time of year!

Turns out, this is all because the Jet Stream has gone crazy, so now we have to suffer mad weather until it decides to right itself again.

I'm always amused by how ill-equipped we are in this country to deal with snow. There was only an inch of snow on the ground this morning, and yet it felt like an achievement to be able to get to work in one piece. I was very proud that everyone I work with was able to make it in this morning, despite the usual, snow-related transport chaos. It was all I could do not to high-five people as they came in through the door!

So, I've got the wellies out and the thick jumpers on. Let's see how long this snow lasts (hopefully not long, please, Mr. Jet Stream).

***

3. Things I've been enjoying recently

- Kings of Leon
I've been going back over some of my old Kings of Leon albums this past fortnight. It's nice to remind myself what a cracking band they are. Have some YouTube links:
Sex on Fire
Day Old Blues
Molly's Chambers

- Giles and Sue Live the Good Life
From reading the reviews, it seems like you either enjoy the team of Giles Coren and Sue Perkins or you don't. I am very much on the enjoy side of the equation. They make me laugh a lot. I don't really care that their Good Life experiment seems to be a bit of a shaky idea; I'd happily watch them both present anything, even the Shipping Forecast.

- Peep Show
Yet another new series of Peep Show and it's still as funny as it always was. Whatever it is you do, Peep Show writers, don't stop. Don't ever stop :D
The first episode of the new series had a lot of good parts, but one of my favourite lines has to be:
Jez: I've always wanted to watch a woman give birth. It'd be like Alien, only sexy.

Golly, I've been a busy bee recently.

Theresa and Colin had a bonfire party last weekend, which was lots of fun. Here, have a picture of some sparks from the fire:

Poor bonfire. It had rained so much before the party began that the bonfire never really got going properly; it was still plenty warm though (and the barbecued sausages helped too). I also got to see Theresa and Colin's new house, which is absolutely lovely, and their new dog, who is even lovelier! She's a greyhound and I've never seen a more calm dog before, or a more elegant one.

And then this weekend, Susan came to visit. We did plenty of shopping and ate some nice cake too. Oh, and I bought myself a new handbag :D It's big and black and Susan said it looked like I was going to rob a bank with it, but it'll fit all my things so I'm rather pleased with it.

In other news, I drew a fanart and I'm still not sure why. It's probably best not to ask questions.

I love that coat ♥