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Hi!

Remember when I used to be a person who drew pictures? No, me neither.

A very rough WWI drawing. (Hahaha. What do you mean they don't look like sandbags?) I've been reading a bit about WWI recently. Can you believe that it was nearly 100 years ago now? Wow. Horrific, horrific times. Apart from the uniforms though; the uniforms were cool.

Also, I have had my tablet for over a year now and this is only about the fifth time I've used it. Worthwhile purchase! Shhhh. I love my tablet, really.

In other news, I went to Helen's pre-Hen-do do on Friday. It was fun! We baked cupcakes and ate pizza and watched Flashdance. If you don't know the plot of Flashdance (Which I think will be a very very small number of people, but you never know) here is a handy summary:

- Girl is a welder by day and by night works in a bar full of greasy truckers who prefer artistic contemporary dance to seeing a lady get her baps out.
- She is so poor that she has to live in a massive warehouse.
- But what she really wants to do is dance at the conservatoire with all the poshos.
- I think some plot might happen in the middle. I wasn't paying attention.
- She does an amazing dance for her audition, but everyone agrees that it's not as good as Robert Webb's version.

Then we watched Confetti, which was not quite as hilarious as it could have been, given all the people that were in it, but it did contain Robert Webb's winky, which was welcome after all the sexual tension generated by that dancing.

My parents and I went for a little trip down to the Thames yesterday. The weather wasn't brilliant but there were loads of swans, so I think we broke even.

The sky looks rather dramatic in my photos. I'm sure it wasn't that dramatic when we were there.

Wild roses, apparently.

We also found a sign to Sex City, home of free anal. Thank goodness for that! Being unemployed, I'm always on the lookout for a bargain.

Then we went and had a burger at a Wimpy. A Wimpy! The burger came on a plate and everything! God, I've never been in a Wimpy before. And to be honest, I didn't think they were even still around. I thought they were one of these old mythical creatures that everyone talks about but never actually existed, like centaurs or Middlesex.

I bought new glasses today! I got my old pair four whole years ago, so it's good to feel a little more fashionable again.

Of course, my new glasses look almost exactly like my old glasses, only the arms are a little more modern (and, God, I'm not used to this. It feels like I'm wearing blinkers all the time! Peripheral vision? What's that? I don't need it, do I?)

Also, I found my webcam :D

'Serious glasses modelling' pose:

'No, wait, I'm still an idiot' pose:

Gah, it's going to take a while to break these new glasses in though. As always happens whenever I get new glasses, my depth perception has disappeared completely D:
I spent all afternoon feeling really tall because the ground looked so far away!

Bear with me if you see me walking into things for a while.

Guys,

I got a job!

I'm really excited. It's a one-year contract, based in an archive in south London. This means I'll probably be moving back to London in the near future :D :D
Now, don't get me wrong, I love where I am living now, but London is so exciting! The only problem is that I'll have to flatshare again. I'll miss having my own space, but still, it could be lots of fun. I hear the place to go for new flatmates these days is the lab at St Bart's. I should check it out.

In all seriousness though, I am so glad that I was able to find work in an archive. It's only when you're faced with the prospect of not being able to do the job you want to do that you realise how much you enjoy doing it.

I love working in archives. And it's not only for the touching of the old stuff and being able to hold a piece of history in your hands. It's the fact that every day I get to learn something new. It might be an obscure something, but it will doubtless be a fascinating insight into where we have come from ♥

To celebrate, I have been dancing along to Bounce by Calvin Harris.
I also re-watched The Great Game :D

Clearly, I know how to PARTY HARRRRRD.

Oh dear.

This was not supposed to happen.

I've been watching Doctor Who solely for the jokes and Matt Smith's hair. And I was pretty sure that I didn't really care one way or another about who was romantically involved with who. (Haha! Todays pun quota = filled unintentionally.) (Ok, so it should technically be 'whom', but I'm not one to let grammar stand in the way of a good pun!)

Of course, yesterday's episode had to come along and scupper everything.

This video should explain things adequately. (Warning: It contains spoilers for yesterday's episode, The Doctor's Wife, if you care about things like that.)

ahahahahaha BEST ROMANCE EVER :D

I spent my book token this week. It was only when I put my new book on by bedtime reading pile, that I realised quite how massive it is.

My new book is as big as my old book!

Woo! Sherlock Holmes is in the house! How I have managed to go 26 years without reading any of these stories, I don't know. Time to fix it now :D

I also bought Good Omens because everyone and their aunt raves about how good it is, so I figured I should finally read it. And I should have The Three Musketeers winging its way to me very soon too (Dumas! Get in!)

I have £5 left to spend on this book token. I might wait and see if anything else catches my eye.

In other news, I've been watching some good shows this week.

Good shows I have watched this week

1. Psychoville - Series 2
God, this show is scary. The League of Gentlemen was comedy with a touch of horror, whereas Psychoville is horror with a touch of comedy. I spend more of my time cowering rather than laughing. But in a good way!

2. Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle - Series 2
I am so happy that this show is back for a second series! Stewart Lee is a very funny man. While watching the first episode, I think I laughed loud enough to annoy the people in the flat next door. He has a sense of timing that's unconventional but amazing; I laughed more when he wasn't talking than I did when he was talking (p.s. that was a compliment).

There are quite a few clips of the show on YouTube if you go looking for them, but this is one of my favourite parts from the first series.
Stewart Lee talks about rappers.

Did a bit of walking in the May Day sunshine yesterday. Nearly all the trees have their leaves now, but there's still plenty of blossom about. We're on the cusp of summer. I love it.

You can't see them in this photo, but there were loads of little ducklings playing about in the currents of this stream. It was the cutest thing.

The woods were carpeted in bluebells :D

And also

Have a watch of Adam Buxton reading out some YouTube comments. It sounds simple, but it's very very funny.

Speaking of funny, it looks like there are going to be some jolly good comedy shows starting up on TV this week. I can't wait!

As promised, here are my new sandals:

They are surprisingly comfortable! I'M GOING TO WEAR THEM ALL SUMMER.

In other news, two things happened to me yesterday:
1. I watched the second episode of The Walking Dead.
2. I had a nightmare about evil mummies coming back to life.

I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION THAT 1. AND 2. MAY BE RELATED.

Hmm. I shall have to watch this so I can be prepared.

I've always thought it would be awesome to be a zombie extra in a film. Trying to walk like a zombie is so much fun! (I can't be the only person who tries this at home. Can I?)

Here's the thing. As I go about my daily business, I (without meaning to) mentally compile lists of things that I should blog about. And I don't blog about it right away because I always seem to be busy on that particular day, but I tell myself that I will get to it soon. But then the list of things that I have to blog about ends up growing so large that I would never have the time to write a blog post about it all anyway and, of course...

This means that I don't post for weeks on end.

I AM SORRY GUYS. I need to learn to start posting short snippets. It'll be easier that way. (I have been telling myself this for about 7 years now. It's not worked yet. BUT IT WILL WORK THIS TIME. OPTIMISM.)

Here, look at all these things I'm going to be telling you about today.

CONTENTS
1. tl;dr My mental health
2. And all the rest of it

***

tl;dr My mental health

I have been meaning to write about this for ages. I don't bring it up much, because I don't like to be too serious on the internets. (Actually, I don't like to be serious when I'm not on the internets for that matter.) BUT LET'S TRY THIS SERIOUS LARK FOR ONCE, SHALL WE.

You may have heard me mention, briefly, over the past couple of years, that I have been suffering from a bit of a mental health problem. It's not serious serious, but it's not very pleasant either.

In its bare bones, here's what I what I was dealing with:
1. Fear of panic attacks
2. Anxiety
3. OCD

Look at that last one! OCD! It was a late developer, that one; I only really generated it in the autumn last year. Didn't realise it was OCD at the time though. Who knew?

Anyway, I'm telling you all this because I have good news to report! It turns out that the OCD was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back. When I realised that I was unable to really do anything without being terrified all the ruddy time, I decided to go to the doctor.

Now, some people had told me to go to the doctor about this before (thanks, Nick!) but it's one of these things that you really have to work yourself up towards. For ages, I was in the mindset of a lot of people. I'd say: I'm going to the doctor about this. And they'd say: Oh, you don't have to do that, surely? As if somehow going to the doctor means it's suddenly serious. As if this is still the 1800s and mental health treatments are all straight-jackets and padded cells and all the mad criminals in Batman.

Luckily, this is the 21st century, and it's not Batman either. Phew.

The way I see it is like this:
If you had a rash, you would go to the doctor to get some cream for it. It's not serious, but it is itchy all the same. And while, if you don't go to the doctor, your limbs are not going to fall off, the rash might spread and get itchier, and who wants to put up with all that when you can easily go to the doctor and just get some cream for it already?

So, I finally decided to go to my doctor to get some (metaphorical) cream for my (metaphorical) rash.

My doctor was really nice about it. He let me explain the symptoms, and then, instead of pressuring me into anything, he sat back and said: So, what do you want?

And I said: I don't want drugs, but I do want to talk to someone. So he referred me onto a local mental health team.

MY TREATMENT HAD BEGUN :D

So, what happened from there, was that I got some treatment in the form of a lovely lady called Alison who phoned me every week. I told her my story in the initial call, and then she sent me some self-help books based on CBT that were specific to my problems.

These books are wonderful. They set down everything in clear terms, took all my fears and explained them away, one by one. Having something authoritatively spelt out on the page was so reassuring to me.

Of course, while the theory may make perfect sense, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can take it to heart. But the good thing about CBT is that it's built around exercises that you can do to re-train your brain to stop thinking in the same way.

And this is where the phone calls with Alison came in. She'd point out which exercises it would be best for me to try, and then set me tasks so I'd have to do them and report back to her the next week.

The exercises I had to do were all based around exposing myself to the stuff that was scaring me, and while that's hard at first, it gets so much easier as you keep going.

I had my final phonecall with Alison a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER THAN I DID JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO.

MILES BETTER.

MILES AND MILES :D

I'm not 100% yet, but now I have the tools to help me, so I know that if I keep working at it, it'll only be a matter of time before I'm back to my old carefree self.

Words cannot express how wonderful this is. (Rashes are annoying, you know. Even metaphorical ones.)

Wow, that really was tl;dr. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

Here, let me lump the rest of my news together in one category.

***

And all the rest of it

1. I bought some lovely new sandals a week or so ago. I WILL TAKE A PICTURE OF THEM WHEN I AM WEARING THEM SOMETIME I PROMISE.

2. I have a book token that I need to spend. But what to buy? If you have any suggestions, please feel free to fling them in my direction!

3. I did some volunteering at my old work-place last week. It was great to be able to see everyone again.

4. Why am I eagerly watching the new series of Dr Who? I never used to be a Dr Who fan. Isn't it a bit silly? WHERE DID I GO WRONG. If only it would stop making me laugh. I'm a sucker for anything that makes me laugh.

5. Speaking of which, Twenty Twelve finished and it was very very funny. I'm watching Campus right now, which is pretty funny and wonderfully surreal, and we won't even mention where it's set :D

"But, whatever could it be?" you ask.

"Well," I say. "Have you heard of caramelldansen? Have you heard of Sherlock? Have you ever considered putting the two together?"

"Golly gosh!" you say. "But that would be... would be..."

"Exactly," I say. "Exactly."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjDKFNgQ6-Q

Oh God. You know when something seems like a fun idea at first, but then it takes forever and a day to complete? Animation is harrrrd, man.

Also, that music is stuck in my head permanently now D:

It was my last day at work on Thursday. I found it a bit sad because I really enjoyed working with everyone a lot; we always seemed to have the best conversations :D Still, I might go back as a volunteer, so I may get to work with them again!

It was Simon's last day on Wednesday, and we clubbed together to buy a tonne of cakes and pastries. NOMNOMNOM. I also bought some glowsticks, for that extra rave-y atmoshpere! TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO.

I got some nice gift vouchers as a leaving present, which I am going to spend like a beast, and I also got a very pretty bouquet of flowers.

Such a gorgeous colour! Very spring-like.

Now, let me tell you, my new found free time is wonderful. First thing I did was to finally tidy my flat post-leak. Everything is now back in my wardrobe, and I'm shocked to find that I have so much free space!

Then I cooked mother's day fajitas for my parents and forced them to watch the first two episodes of Twenty Twelve :D

Other tasks for this week include:
- sending off some job applications
- attempting to get as much money out of the government as I can
- going for lunch with my grandparents
- finishing my SUPER SECRET PROJECT :D (hopefully more details on that later)

Let's see, what have I got here?

1. Twenty Twelve
I've been languishing in a comedy void for the past few months. For some reason, there appeared to be no good comedy on the TV. Luckily, I just watched the new show Twenty Twelve, and it's funny!

It's very similar to People Like Us, which I adored, so I'm expecting good things from the upcoming episodes :D

2. I flipping love the universe
Yes, that's right. It's Professor Brian Cox time again! This time he's attempting to teach the UK about the whole universe. Fascinating stuff. Give me answers Brian! I want answers!

Videos!
Here's the Prof playing with some Sodium
And here he is taking some drugs

3. Sherlock - the pilot
So, I finally watched the pilot episode yesterday. It was ok, and it was fun to watch Sherlock prance around in a pair of skinny jeans for an hour, but it wasn't quite as good as the actual show.

The actual show had more money thrown at it, and it shows. Not only is the actual show full of more plot and more characterisation, it is also very pretty to watch and wonderfully funny. The pilot just didn't match up.

It wasn't all doom and gloom though. The pilot had some nice parts, like Sherlock pretending to be drunk (lots of fun), and Sherlock attempting to tidy the flat by picking up a stack of papers from one chair and dumping them straight down on another (THAT'S NOT HOW TIDYING WORKS). Also, THE COAT was still present, which is never a bad thing :D

4. Water water everywhere
Leak update! You will be glad to hear that my flat is now mostly dry and rid of the damp smell. Thank god for that.

Let me tell you, dehumidifiers are the best invention ever. EVER ♥♥♥

1. Apollo Justice
2. Soem photos of March
3. CUMBERBATCHED

1. Apollo Justice
So! I just finished Apollo Justice. Man, I'm getting through these games fast. This instalment was fun, as always, but I missed some of the characters from the Phoenix Wright-centric games. Still, can't go wrong with air guitar in court; it's a vital part of the judicial system!

Here, as always, have a handy YouTube summary of the game.

While we're on it. Does anyone else think that Wesley Stickler looks like Sherlock? It dawned on me almost as soon as he turned up, and I spent the rest of game going, 'CAN'T UNSEEEEE'.

2. Soem photos of March
I just came back from a nice walk in the country to go see the ruins of an old church and an abandoned village. The wind was cold, but the sun was bright and warm, and it almost feels like spring is on the way :D

I was also able to give my camera a nice outing too.

3. CUMBERBATCHED
Now, I normally like to sound like a very serious person on this blog >:E But I'm going to have to take a little detour from that for a moment because Jesus Christ I need to link you all to this audio recording of Benedict Cumberbatch reading Keats' Ode to a Nightingale.

Oh my God. I think there might be words in there somewhere? I don't know, because when I turn it on and put it through my sub-woofer (not a euphemism) all I hear is this purring mellifluous treacle. Oh man.

Hey, guess what? I got a new camera! It wasn't very expensive, but I'm still feeling pretty poor now I've bought it (damn you water bill, for turning up the week afterwards!)

I haven't actually been anywhere exciting yet to give the camera a run, but I have been playing around with it at my parents house.

Not the best photos in the world, but I'm learning. I kind of always hate to use the flash, so I'm really happy that this camera can do a bit more correction for my shaky hands. Also, it is so wonderful to have a battery that lasts! I've turned the camera on and off about a million times and the battery indicator is still on full. My old camera refused to take more than one photo before saying "Battery depleted". New camera, I love you.

I want to show my love by buying a new camera case (the one I ordered off Amazon came up accidentally huge) but all the cases in the shops are really kinda dull. I was thinking of maybe browsing etsy for something cute. What do you think? Have any of you used etsy before? And is it any good?

In much worser news, I returned home from my parents house on Sunday, only to find that the carpet went "squelch squelch squelch" when I walked on it.

"Squelch squelch squelch?"

And then I switched on the light and realised that half my flat was completely sodden D:
Turns out that the flat above mine had had a leaking toilet (leaking clean water, not piss, guys) which was directly above my built-in wardrobe D: D: D:

So, after cleaning and tumble-drying my clothes, and running a dehumidifier for a couple of days, the place is slowly drying out. Oh God, but the smell is so bad! All kind of fusty and musty and manky. Eugh.

Still, could have been worse. All my electricals are ok, and everything will right itself pretty well once its dry. I could just do without the stress, really.

Hi!

Yesterday, my Mum and I went to save the economy. That's right, we went shopping. Now, I'm no economist, but I think our efforts helped a lot. After all, there were two of us. And my Mum even bought socks!

To show you what I bought, I decided to give my camera and outing. Unfortunately, apparently I had sub-consciously decided to pull stupid faces while doing so \o/

Clockwise from top left:
1. Jumper - Jane Norman
2. Top - Topshop, Trousers - Miss Selfridge
3. Cardigan - New Look, Skirt - Topshop
4. Dress - ok, so I didn't buy this one yesterday. This is the dress that I got for £3 (£3! £3!) from Petticoat Lane market back in November. I said I'd take a photo of it for you, so here you go :D

Also, my camera is on its last legs. It doesn't like batteries anymore. It's all like, "What is this shit? What are you feeding me? I'm dying here! Get me the hard stuff, man! The hard stufffff!!!!!'
I was going to wait until I had more money before I bought a new camera, but I'm not sure I can take it any more. Can any of you guys recommend a camera that's good but not too expensive?

In other news
I borrowed Gogol Bordello's Super Taranta! from my parents. I love Gogol Bordello. They're so energetic! I would liken their music to a tornado; it's fast and furious and makes you fly around like a lunatic.

This song is one of my favourites on the album.